The Realization
by Dryad Dray
Summary: (KateWill) Will finally realizes what Kate means to him when the possibility of not having her arises.
1. Chapter 1

"High-ho-ho, the life I lead is one of pain, aaaaand of wooooe!!!" Wat and Roland howled at the top of their lungs. Chaucer couldn't be kept quiet, and he too soon joined in the drinking song. None of them had actually been drinking, but they often sang on their long journeys as they travelled from one tournament to the next. They sang to keep themselves busy, and it helped keep their spirits high. It was a sunny, clear afternoon that the small band found themselves wandering out of Paris and through the countryside on their way to the next city. It seemed they never got a chance to rest; if they weren't on the road, they were wrapped up in the work each preformed at the competitions.  
  
"Oh, come off it, already!" Will called out good-naturedly. He twisted in his saddle to look back at the trio. "If I have to hear another of your tuneless songs, I'll go mad!"  
  
"But, Will," Wat looked up at him, "singin' makes the travelling go faster. Get's our mind off things."  
  
"Not for the rest of us," he nodded to Kate. "For us the trip's that much longer. And it usually ends with a fierce headache."  
  
"Bah!" Wat spat out. "You're just jealous you haven't got a set of lungs like mine!"  
  
Kate silently followed along, leading the horse pulling the cart. She smiled to herself and listened to Wat and Will's banter.  
  
"Isn't your time up, anyway?" Wat skilfully changed the subject. "I think it's my turn on the horse. My feet are aching something terrible."  
  
"You've got to be kidding me! We've only just left Paris; I've still got another few hours at least."  
  
"And anyway," interrupted Chaucer, "I'm after Will."  
  
"No you're not!" fought Wat. "You had it nearly the whole ride to Paris. And I've got the blisters to prove it."  
  
"Oh, poor little Wat," Chaucer teased. "Maybe we should just leave you behind if you can't handle a little walking."  
  
Wat's face screwed up in anger and he lunged at the writer, but Roland stepped between the two.  
  
"If you're in that much pain, Wat, then go hop up on that bloody wagon, and shut your trap," said Roland.  
  
"Me? Shut my trap?" Wat stared with his mouth hanging open. "I'm not the one who started this. Blame him," he pointed up at Will. "He's the one who won't let me sing. What else am I supposed to do?"  
  
Chaucer thought for a moment, then chuckled. "That's right, there are only three things that big mouth of yours is good for: complaining, eating and singing terribly."  
  
Wat once again lunged at Chaucer, but was interrupted by Will muttering aloud, "You know, I'd almost prefer the singing to this."  
  
"What'd you say there, Will?" asked Wat, looking to pick another fight.  
  
"I said I would gladly surrender my horse if it would quiet you."  
  
"You're in luck," Wat cheered up. "It will."  
  
"Good, then take it." And with that Will was of the horse and walking ahead of the group. Wat swung into the saddle.  
  
"You know, I've just thought of something that will make the time pass." Will turned around and walked backwards, facing his friends. "How's about Kate sings us a little tune? She actually has talent," Will told them with a wink to her.  
  
Immediately everyone's head turned to face Kate.  
  
"I didn't know you could sing," Roland told her.  
  
Her face deepened into an intense pink. How had Will heard her sing? She had never sung in front of anyone, not even her late husband. The thought of someone listening to her, especially Will, made her very uncomfortable.  
  
"I don't sing in front of people," she told her friends firmly. "Sorry. I just don't."  
  
"Oh, come on," Wat told her, "You've got to be loads better than us. Anyone would be."  
  
"It doesn't matter," she said with a slight smile. "I just don't like to do it."  
  
"But think of the alternative," Will pointed out, looking at the others.  
  
"Will's right, you know," Chaucer put in. "If you don't sing, then we'll have to sing for ourselves. And we know you don't want that."  
  
Kate's lips remained defiantly closed, so the trio struck up again, this time much worse.  
  
"OHHHH!!! High-ho-ho, the life I lead…" This time they sung twice as loud, and purposely very out of tune. Will cast a pleading look to Kate till she couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Alright, alright!" she threw up her hands in frustration. "One song, if it'll make you stop." The group cheered, then quieted down to listen. She cleared her throat, and began.  
  
None of them, save Will, had expected what followed to come out of their sweet Kate's mouth. The soft Scottish hymn, sung in her native tongue, fell about them until they lost track of everything else and focused solely on her voice. It was velvet soft, and one of the most beautiful things they had ever heard.  
  
With the last dying note, the men simply gawked at her, their eyes wide with surprise. To think she had had this talent that no one had known about, and had hidden it for so long.  
  
"My God, Kate," Chaucer finally spoke. "That was wonderful. I wish I'd known you could sing like that. I've written some songs, but never found anyone who I'd want to sing them."  
  
"Thanks, Geoff, but that's really the only song I know," she claimed modestly. "I'm afraid I mightn't sound so well singing anything else." Somehow, none of the men were able to believe that.  
  
Will turned back around and continued walking forward, a smile upon his lips. He had always known there was a secret side to Kate, and he was thoroughly enjoying discovering it. The group continued walking on in complete silence. No one wanted to disturb the sound of Kate's voice so freshly placed in each of their memories. 


	2. Chapter 2

The sun had already set when they entered the quiet town of Domremy.  
  
"Let's try and find an inn, and save ourselves from a night of sleeping on the ground." Will lead them down the main street, where a few houses still had flickering lights shinning through their windows.  
  
"Great idea," Wat called from atop the horse. "I could use a good night's sleep. You've no idea how sore I am!" He seemed not to notice the glares coming from his companions, who had walked the entire day.  
  
"This looks promising," commented Roland. A larger building with a sign reading 'Auberge Trois Rivieres' was off to their left. Many of its windows were lit, and they could hear the clinking of glasses and laughter emanating from inside. Will and Roland entered, while the other three waited outside with the horses and cart.  
  
It was smoky and dimly lit inside. And it seemed that the entire town must have been in the small pub located on the first floor of the inn.  
  
"Bonsoir, monsieurs," an elderly man said to them as he rose from a nearby table.  
  
"Good evening. We're looking for lodging for the night." Will hoped the man understood English; his French was a little embarrassing.  
  
"You have luck," the man quickly switched to English. "We have just one room remaining." He walked over to a counter off to the side, reached behind it and retrieved a key.  
  
"One room?" Will asked. "But there's five of us." He gestured toward the door. "Surely you can find us more accommodation?"  
  
"Excusez-moi, monsieur, but no. I have only one left. I am sorry."  
  
Will exchanged glances with Roland, but they both knew that this was their only choice. In a town this size there would probably only be one inn. Everyone would just have to make do.  
  
"Alright, I guess we'll take it," Will finally answered. He paid the man and took the key. Then, after receiving instructions for the horses, they headed outside.  
  
"Bad luck," Roland began.  
  
"What? All booked up, was it?" Chaucer asked.  
  
"No," Will explained. "They only had one room left; we'll have to share." He looked over at Kate.  
  
"Well, I don't mind," she commented. "It's better than sleeping outside."  
  
"I agree," Chaucer added. "Just so long as you keep the snoring down." He poked at Wat.  
  
"I don't snore!" His face flamed at the suggestion.  
  
As Chaucer and Wat continued to bicker the others began leading the horses around to the back of the inn, to where the stables were. The groom there promised to take good care of them, especially after Will tossed him a tip.  
  
"You'd better keep a tighter grip on that money, lad," Roland warned the knight. "You may have plenty of it now, but you never know when it'll run out."  
  
"If I run out, then I'll simply go and win another tournament," he replied with a grin.  
  
"Don't get cocky, boy," cautioned the older man. "My mother always told me 'Save a shilling for a rainy day.' You never know when your luck could change."  
  
Will leaned in close to Roland. "Luck has nothing to do with it, mate." And he slapped him cheerfully on the back.  
  
They returned to the still bickering couple and entered the inn together. The crowd who had barely noticed the pair earlier were now well aware of the five strangers. Most of the conversations ceased as the group made their way across the room to where the staircase was located. Will could see many of the men eyeing Kate greedily as they crossed, and was pleased to see Chaucer take her arm in a gentlemanly fashion.  
  
As they reached the stairs, Will thought of how well their group fit together. They always looked out for one another, but he felt Kate was the one who needed his protection the most. Maybe it was because she was a woman, or because she was so trustworthy and naïve at times. He found that almost anywhere they went men were making passes at her. It disgusted him how drunken males would even grab at her in their intoxicated state. She seemed to be able to take care of herself well enough, but he couldn't understand how she had done so before joining their band. She acted defiantly self-sufficient most of the time, a trait that grew from working in a man's field, Will knew. But no matter how stubbornly she tried to prove her independence, he knew Kate was appreciative of his men's protection.  
  
After two flights of stairs they found themselves outside their door. Will unlocked it and they entered. It was a rather small and plain room, with a large bed taking up most of the space. Moonlight shone in through the open window, illuminating their surroundings.  
  
"So who get's the bed, then?" asked Wat, ready to fight anyone who'd dare challenge him.  
  
"I think Kate should have it," replied Roland. "She is the lady; it would only be right."  
  
"Oh, that's ridiculous," she protested. "I can't take up that whole bed. You four could probably fit. Why don't you all take it?"  
  
"That'd hardly be very comfortable," grumbled Wat.  
  
"He's right," Chaucer agreed. "Four wouldn't fit. You take a spot, Kate. And I think Will should have a spot, too. He'll be no good at jousting with a sore back from lying on the floor all night."  
  
Suddenly the idea of sharing a bed with Kate, alone, seemed a little unsettling to Will. Not to mention what Jocelyn would say if she ever found out. A sore back would be the least of his problems.  
  
"All right, but I'm sure we could fit one more," Will quickly added. "Perhaps Roland, being the eldest, deserves it."  
  
"That sounds fair. So Roland, Will and Kate take the bed, while Wat and I hit the floor." Chaucer seemed quite content with the idea, as did everyone else, except for Wat. He stood there for a moment trying to figure out how it happened that he had been sentenced to the floor.  
  
Finally everyone had settled into their assigned sleeping arrangement. Wat and Chaucer stretched out at the foot of the bed, while Will laid on his back with Roland on his right and Kate on his left.  
  
"Hey, Kate," Wat called out, in a teasing manner. "How's about you sing us all a lullaby?"  
  
"Bugger off!" she told him and threw her pillow in his direction. "Ooof!" let her know she'd hit her mark.  
  
"Thanks," Wat said without returning the pillow. Kate then realised her mistake; she was now pillow-less.  
  
"Want mine?" Will asked, offering his pillow.  
  
She met his eyes in the darkness, and could see the moonlight reflecting in his deep brown eyes. She found it slightly alarming to be lying so close to him.  
  
"No, I'll be fine," she smiled, and then rolled over with her back to him. Will settled back down and eased into a dreamless sleep, exhausted by the long day of travelling.  
  
He wasn't sure what woke him: Roland's deep, rumbling snore, or the contact he felt against his left side. As his eyes fluttered open it took him a moment to remember where he was. It was still very dark outside, and quite a few hours from dawn. He turned his head to the side and remembered that it was Kate curled up next to him. He tried to move over and give her more room, but he realized he couldn't. Roland was completely sprawled out taking up more than half the bed. Will tried to push him over, but the large man was too heavy and Will just didn't have the energy. He felt Kate move beside him.  
  
"Kate? You awake?" he whispered softly to her.  
  
"Yes, and about to fall of this bed," she hissed back at him. "Think you could move over some?"  
  
"I would, but Roland's taken up the whole side. I can't get him to budge."  
  
"Well if you hear a 'thump' later, you'll know I've fallen off."  
  
Will looked over to see Kate wasn't exaggerating. Half of her was hanging over the edge of the bed.  
  
"Do you want to switch places?" Will offered.  
  
"No, that's all right, Will. Don't worry about me."  
  
"Well, here, how about I hold on to you, so you don't fall."  
  
Kate was about to protest when she felt Will's strong arms wrap around her middle. He easily pulled her up against him and she could feel the heat of his firm, bare chest against her back.  
  
"Alright," she let out meekly. Being held in his arms was making her blood run faster and her head spin slightly. She was thankful he couldn't see her face, as she knew she must have been blushing.  
  
Will immediately realized he hadn't properly thought out his plan. Now here he was, holding Kate way too damned close. The delicate scent of her hair surrounded him and he could feel her backside against a very sensitive region. She felt way too good, and Will was liking it way too much. Every slight movement she made, even the littlest bit of friction, heated his body in a way he thought only Jocelyn could.  
  
Jocelyn! Why hadn't he thought of her before? He should not have been having these thoughts while he had Jocelyn. Yet, he was. But Kate was only a friend, he had to remind himself. True, she was very beautiful, but a friend nonetheless, and that was how she had to remain. Besides, he couldn't let go, or she'd fall off the bed. So that's what he told himself as he continued to hold her, and slowly drifted back off into sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

Sleep was much longer coming for Kate than it had been for Will. She hadn't been held this close by a man since her husband had passed on. It was awakening old feelings that she had thought forever gone, and it worried her.  
  
True, she had once thought there might be something between her and Will, but that was only for a mere moment. He had started chasing Jocelyn so soon after meeting her that any chance of a romance between them was short lived. The way he fought for Jocelyn made it clearly evident he had no other women on his mind. It hurt Kate for a while, to see him with this other woman, but she grew to accept it.  
  
"Though I'll never understand it!" she thought bitterly to herself. "She doesn't deserve him. Why can't he see that?" Indeed, everyone else seemed to notice her inadequacy, except William. They all saw how she spent his money on frivolous, materialistic things. They saw how she flirted and gallivanted around with other men right under his nose. And they saw how they were two completely different people, who didn't share a single thought, interest or value.  
  
But most importantly they saw how she used him at every twist and turn. Asking him to loose the tournament should have been a clear sign to all, that this woman was wicked.  
  
In fact, the only thing the others couldn't see was why Will was still with Jocelyn. Besides her physical beauty, the woman didn't have a single trait to be found attractive.  
  
As the months passed everyone watched as Jocelyn's possessions and vanity grew, while Will was slowly sucked dry. There wasn't nearly as much money as before and Jocelyn didn't even come to the tournaments anymore. She stayed living in her father's castle showing no interest in her fiancée or his jousting career, unless it was concerning his winnings. The few times Will was able to go and visit her, she always found an excuse to leave, claiming she had some previous engagement planned. Kate knew Jocelyn was seeing other men, but she wasn't ever able to prove it. Her intuition was never enough to convince William. And after once having a huge row with him, Kate realized that he probably wanted to stay blind to his future wife's activities. He continued giving Jocelyn the pricey allowance they had established, and developed excuses for her whenever needed.  
  
"You just don't know her the way I do," he would explain. "She's a noble and used to her lifestyle. I can't deprive her of it, that's just the way she is."  
  
"But that's not the way you are," Kate thought again. "You're above all that, and you deserve better. You deserve someone who loves you. Someone like me." But that dream seemed impossible now. No matter how much Kate cared for Will, she knew he only had eyes for Jocelyn. She would only ever be seen as his friend, the loyal, hardworking and sweet blacksmith. And she wasn't about to let him down.  
  
(Sorry this one's so short, but I finally figured out how to keep some sort of form to my writing. So I just want to make sure this works. There will be more.) 


	4. Chapter 4

(Hey, I bet you guys thought I'd died or something, eh? Nope, just taking a really long break, sorry! Anyway, I'm back now, so here goes.)  
  
"Well, well, well. what have we here?" Chaucer's teasing voice woke Will from his deep slumber. The knight looked towards the foot of the bed and found Wat, Roland and Geoff lined up, eyeing him mischievously. As William's eyes adjusted to the bright light of the morning sun, his memory cleared and it became evident to him what the three were looking at. Apparently he was still clutching Kate very tightly and she was nestled into his arms in the same position from the previous night. Now Roland was gone from his half of the bed, the two looked quite cozy snuggling together.  
  
"I wonder what Jocelyn would have to say if she saw you like this, Will?" Wat's tone took the same teasing sound as Chaucer's had. But Will didn't find it to be very humorous. In fact he found the situation very awkward and in him embarrassment he promptly let go of Kate to maintain some distance. The moment he released her she rolled off the bed as she had threatened to do the previous night and landed on the wooden floor with a thud.  
  
"Ouch!" Kate's cry came from the floor. A moment later her head appeared over the side of the bed and her eyes shot furious glares around the room. "Oy, what a way to be woken! Who in blazes thought it would be funny to push me off the bloody bed?!?"  
  
But Will was too worried about explaining himself to apologize to Kate at that moment. "It's- it's not what it looks like, really! You don't understand. You see Roland was taking up so much room, and. and he was pushing us off the bed. and Kate was about to fall off, so, so you see." He was talking quickly, trying to clear up the misunderstanding, and didn't realize that his friends were trying desperately to keep from laughing.  
  
Geoff interrupted him, "Relax Will. We're only teasing. We know you and Kate are friends."  
  
"So you won't tell Jocelyn, then?" He had a desperate look in his eyes.  
  
"No, of course we won't tell Jocelyn, what's there to tell?" By now Wat had begun complaining about breakfast and the three turned to head down to the pub. Kate slowly got up from her position on the floor, with a quiet and reserved look on her face. She brushed herself off, and made to follow the others without even casting a look at William.  
  
"Kate," Will called out to her as she reached the door. She turned to face him, but did not look him in the eye. She just couldn't. "I am sorry if I hurt you," he added.  
  
She gave him as small smile. "Don't worry about me Will, I'll be fine." Then she was quietly gone. As she approached the stairs and followed the others down, she thought about Will's quick and adamant explanation, and how he was more concerned about his precious Jocelyn's finding out than about her. "Damn him!" she thought to herself. "What I felt last night was more powerful than anything I've felt in a long time, and to him it was nothing more than a hug! Then again, with Jocelyn warming his bed, I'm sure Will is a very satisfied man. What could I ever possibly offer him" Kate felt close to the verge of tears, and though she was sitting surrounded by her friends she suddenly felt very alone. Will's words had hurt her, and they only reinforced the knowledge that he would never be hers.  
  
Back in the room upstairs, William lay in bed for several minutes thinking about the previous events. Why had he become so defensive to his friends? Of course they knew there was nothing romantic between he and Kate, so why did he feel like he had to convince them? And more importantly, why did he feel so guilty for what he had done? As far as anyone was concerned, Will was just being a good friend.  
  
With a great sigh, Will rose himself from the bed and began dressing. He told himself he would just have to pay more attention to Jocelyn the next time he saw her, which would be in a couple of days. All the time they spent apart could not be good for their relationship, and he knew once he saw her at the tournament in Dieppe, where her father's castle was, he wouldn't be able to think about anyone else. Whenever he was in her presence she was all he could ever think about. Any attraction he had felt towards Kate must have been because he hadn't seen Jocelyn in weeks and he missed her so. That simply had to be the explanation. 


	5. Chapter 5

(Hey guys, what's the problem, do you all hate me or something? I know I haven't written in a REALLY long time, but you guys are allowed to review, ya know. Well, here's another chapter, maybe some people will feel like commenting?)  
  
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The group were on the move again by midmorning, and nobody had said anything further about the situation from the bedroom. Infact, Wat, Geoff and Roland seemed to have forgotten the whole matter entirely. But neither Will nor Kate had. They hadn't spoken to each other since that morning, and were doing a good job at avoiding one another, as if it would make the awkwardness disappear somehow.  
  
They made good time that day, as they were all anxious to make it to Dieppe. Will was looking forward to seeing Jocelyn again, and ridding himself of the inner guilt he was carrying, though he still didn't understand where it came from. Everyone else was eager to stay in the castle of Jocelyn's father, where they could have feather beds and exquisite meals each night. Kate was mostly looking forward to setting up her equipment somewhere and getting back to work. Whenever she had a lot on her mind, she loved to immerse herself in her craft. She enjoyed the simplicity and the art of it all. But mostly she liked the privacy. It was her place, and she could be alone for hours on end, whenever she wanted. The men knew this, and hardly ever interrupted her in her smithy.  
  
The trail was ridden mostly in silence, save for a few rounds of singing from the men. Any requests made to Kate were adamantly refused, and she wasn't pressured anymore. She was quiet that day, walking as she brought up the rear. Will led them, and he too seemed lost in thought for most of the afternoon.  
  
It was dusk when they finally settled down for the night in a camp they quickly put together in a ways from the road. When everyone had eaten their fill, they all stretched out around the crackling fire with a mug of mead each. They talked for a while, mostly about the glorious food they would be fed in the castle, before Kate excused herself quietly and headed off to bed. She preferred to sleep in the straw filled wagon along with her tools, than with the men by the fire. Will watched her retreat into the shadows and the frustration in him wouldn't let him sit idly any longer. Kate had not spoken a word to him all day, and it was eating him up inside. He felt like he had done something wrong, but he couldn't, in blazes, figure out what. Roughly, he ran his hand through his blond curls and stood to follow her.  
  
"Where are you off to?" Geoff questioned him.  
  
"I, uh, need to speak to Kate for a minute. About, um, my armour. I'll only be a moment." Then he followed her out of the light of the campsite.  
  
"That was odd," Geoff commented. Roland nodded in agreement, while Wat seemed oblivious to the whole scene.  
  
Will caught up with Kate some distance away. Before he had a chance to think about why he had lied to Geoff, he called out her name.  
  
"Kate," she turned at the sound f his soft voice, and was surprised to see Will standing a few yards away. "May I speak with you for a moment?"  
  
His formality was slightly alarming to Kate; he always spoke so amiably and with such ease to his friends. But she nodded her head and he stepped closer.  
  
He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly got a better look at Kate and couldn't find what it was he meant to say. In the full moon's light he clearly saw her dark eyes shinning back at him, patiently, expectantly. Their darkness was striking against her soft pale skin, and he felt the urge to reach up and touch her cheek. Resisting the temptation, though, he shook his head trying to find his words. She gave him a quizzical look.  
  
"I, uh, wanted to apologize again, for this morning." At first, Kate imagined he was sorry for what he had said, and then she realized that was not what he meant. "I can imagine that must have been a shocking way to be woken. Not to mention a little painful too?" he gave her an apologetic smile.  
  
But at that moment Kate wasn't in a very pardoning mood. She had forgiven Will for letting her fall off the bed, but there was something else she didn't want to forgive him for just yet. Something he hadn't even apologized for.  
  
"I'm all right, thank you." With that Kate turned to leave. But Will's hand was on her arm before she could take a step, turning her back to face him.  
  
"Kate, are you angry with me? I have the feeling I've done something to hurt you."  
  
"I'm just tired, is all, and I'd like to go to sleep now."  
  
"You know you can talk to me, right? You can tell me anything."  
  
Kate closed her eyes and shook her head from side to side. "No William, there is nothing wrong," she said quietly. The movement of her head caused her dark tresses to sway around her face. Again, Will was struck by her beauty, and was about to raise his hand to run it through her hair when she opened her eyes.  
  
"We're still friends, then?" he asked almost desperately.  
  
Her reply held a sadness, a defeat, that tugged at his heart. "Yes, Will, we will always be friends."  
  
"Alright, well then goodnight." He leaned forward then and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before giving her a smile. Then he turned and made his way back to the campsite.  
  
Kate stood for a moment in the moonlight, surrounded by tall trees. She could hear the men laughing and joking around the fire, all oblivious to the sharp pain she could feel somewhere in her chest. She fought to control her emotions. Tears threatened to pour down, but Kate refused to cry any longer for the man she couldn't have. When she turned to walk back to the wagon, then and there she made a decision. It would do her no good to continue travelling with Will and the others. In the end, it only caused her more pain than she could handle. She had thought she could get past this deep caring for William and move on, but when she saw him everyday, it was damned near impossible. She only grew to care for him more. When they reached Dieppe, Will would be reunited with Jocelyn, and everyone would be so happy and busy with the tournament that no one would mind if she left. She could say a quick good-bye, then be across the channel, into England and on her way home, to Scotland.  
  
When she settled down upon the straw she finally let the sobs escape. It would be difficult, she knew, leaving her friends. She had never known it to be so hard doing the right thing. 


	6. Chapter 6

(Well, i tried really hard to get this chapter up as quick as possible, so you guys won't hate me, i just hope you like it. here goes: )  
  
After a few more days on the road, everyone was looking forward to reaching Dieppe, but none more than Will. He couldn't wait to wrap his arms around his fiancée, and kiss the dark haired beauty as he had in his dreams for so many nights now. As they got closer and closer, he grew more energized and impatient with those slowing them down, namely Wat.  
  
"Oh, for pete's sake, Wat! Will you pick up the pace?!? At the rate you're going, we won't get there till autumn!" Will called to the back of the group where Wat was trudging along, dragging his feet with every step.  
  
"But I'm tired, Will!" he whined back. "We've been going non-stop for almost a week now. The tournament isn't for a couple more days; I think we can afford to take a few brakes."  
  
Will's tone took an unexpectedly sympathetic tone. "Well, I guess your right. I'm sure all those cakes and roasts and flagons of ale will wait. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really in the mood for a feast, anyway. Let's stop here for a bit, shall we?" Then Will plopped himself down on a log at the edge of the road.  
  
"What are you doing, man?!?" Wat, having suddenly found some life, marched up to Will and heaved him to his feet. "You know, we really don't want to be late for the tournament. We'd better keep moving, or we might miss the thing all together, and we wouldn't want that, would we?"  
  
So they continued on, and at a slightly quicker pace now that every couple of minutes Wat was telling them to pick up their feet. Hardly anyone noticed how Kate seemed to lack the enthusiasm she normally possessed when they were approaching a city. Now that she was planning to leave the group she had come to love so much, she found every time she opened her mouth to speak, her words got stuck in her throat. The only one who seemed to remark her odd behaviour was Geoff. He hung back a little to talk to her privately while the other three marched ahead, with their arms around each other's shoulders.  
  
"All right there, Kate?"  
  
"Hullo, Geoff. Beautiful day, isn't it?" she asked.  
  
"That it is, Kate, that it is." They looked around themselves to admire the French northern landscape. The sun was shinning down on them though the heavy branches of the full oak trees. The whole atmosphere seemed to be glowing with green from their leaves and the air felt alive. Then he turned to look her in the face. "So what is it then that's making you so unhappy?"  
  
At first Kate was taken aback. "What. nothing's making me unhappy, Geoff. I'm fine." Kate knew it sounded like a lie; she was never very good at hiding the truth. The look on Chaucer's face told her she was right: he didn't believe her. He waited patiently still watching her, and waiting for her to open up to him.  
  
Kate heaved a sigh as she realized it was no use. Try as hard as she might to hide them, Geoff had always been able to read her emotions. He understood her better than any of the other men, and when she did feel like talking to someone, more often than not, it was he she went to. Besides, in a day or two, everyone would know anyway, so what was the point of putting it off any longer?  
  
"Fine, Geoff, I'll tell you. Though I did want to wait till we had reached Dieppe. And please don't tell the others just yet, will you?"  
  
"Whatever you say Kate, I'm just here to listen." He gave he a reassuring smile and she continued.  
  
"I've made a decision, though it was not easy, I must tell you. I've thought about it a lot, weighed the different arguments. Really I was trying to figure out just what I wanted, and for the longest time I had no idea. But I think I know what I want now- no, wait, I know what I want now, and there's no changing my mind. I'm finally sure."  
  
"Kate!" Geoff interrupted her endless babbling, though he knew it was a sign of her nervousness. "Calm down and just tell me already."  
  
She took a deep breath. "I'm going home."  
  
There was a silence then, and Kate was almost afraid to look at Geoff. But after a few more moments, she couldn't bare it and glimpsed at him. His face held the look of one deep in thought. "Geoff." Her voice was barely audible.  
  
He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and turned back to her. "You know I think that's a splendid idea."  
  
"You- you do?" Kate's heart dropped as she realized the others may not be so sad to see her go.  
  
"Well, I've just realized how this must be for you. You're out here with us, the only woman in a band of the most uncivilized men God ever put on this earth." As if to reiterate his remark, Wat let out a massive belch up ahead of them. ".travelling each day in all kinds of weather from one tournament to the next. I'm sure this was not what you expected when you joined with us, eh? And the prospect of a hot bath and comfortable bed is probably weighing heavily on your mind by now. Of course I understand that you want to go home for a while and rest up. And your family must miss you terribly, and you them, I'm sure. No, Kate, I think it's a fine idea if you go home for a bit. Then you can meet up with us again, perhaps at the tournament in Prague, by June?"  
  
She was watching her feet as she walked and a single tear fell down her cheek. He didn't understand, and explaining this to him was going to be the hardest thing she had done yet. But she knew she had to offer him an explanation, and it just might have to be the truth.  
  
"No Geoff, that's not what I mean." He stopped her and lifted her chin with a finger, making her face him.  
  
"What is it Kate? Why are you crying?"  
  
"I'm going home. for good. I'm leaving and I'm not going to be coming back." As she looked into his eyes she saw his confusion, then realization and finally the sadness. She tried to apologize with her own eyes but it all seemed so pointless, the hurt was evident in his own.  
  
"Why?" was all he said.  
  
"I- I don't really know. Mostly I just feel like that's where I should be. Like that's where I belong."  
  
"I don't believe that. Kate, you belong here with us, were your family. You know that. You have a very special place here, it's where you belong."  
  
"What? To make armour for one knight for the rest of my life? To follow you all around from city to city? To never settle down myself, maybe have a family?" With each question her voice grew stronger and more fierce. But suddenly it grew soft, emotional. "That's what I wanted once, long ago, a family. Then somewhere it all changed. I just don't think this is what I want for my life." She gestured around herself with her arms. "Something is missing, something I won't find if I stay here."  
  
By this time the other three had moved on quite a bit, and Geoff took her elbow and continue walking.  
  
"But Kate, I always thought you were happy here with us. I thought this was where you wanted to be, and who you wanted to be with."  
  
"Oh, it was Geoff. These have been some of the happiest months of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for all the gold in the world. I love all of you, very much, you know."  
  
Geoff smiled a sad smile and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze. "We think the world of you, too. You're our little Scottish lass, you know that."  
  
"That's what make this so hard," she continued watching her feet. "You are all so kind, my life here has been wonderful. I've grown so close to all of you. Leaving will be the hardest thing I've ever done."  
  
"Then why do it?" Geoff pushed on. "I don't understand, Kate. Why do you feel like you must leave?"  
  
"Geoff, please, can't you just accept it? Why do you have to ask me all these questions? Just say goodbye and let me leave." Kate never thought she would have to try so hard to convince them of her decision. She had hoped it would be just a sad farewell with hugs and kisses, and then she could be off. She had not meant to confront her emotional demons like this.  
  
Chaucer's face took a firm expression and he stated simply, "No, Kate. I refuse to let you go without an explanation. I care too much to let that happen." He looked down at her and said gently, "If you are leaving, then you at least owe me the truth. If I'm never to see our darling Kate again, I want to know why."  
  
"I- I don't know." Kate's voice slowly trailed off. She didn't even know how to begin to tell Geoff about her feelings for Will.  
  
Then an idea passed through Geoff's mind and he asked, "Does this have anything to do with Will?"  
  
The shock that Chaucer had guessed it so easily, stopped Kate in her tracks, though she couldn't look at him. She felt her cheeks reddening slightly as he stopped beside her.  
  
"Ah, I see it does," he began. And when Kate said nothing he continued. "You know, I've often wondered if there wasn't a little something between you two."  
  
"There wasn't! I mean, isn't!" Kate cut him off looking up at him.  
  
"And therein lies the problem, am I right? You care for him then?" he asked.  
  
Kate looked him straight in the eye and spoke the truth, something she had tried so hard to keep even from herself. "I think I'm in love with him," she whispered. Then she waited for Geoff's response.  
  
It came seconds later when his mouth spread into a wide grin and he picked her up in a giant hug and swung her around, laughing.  
  
"Finally!" he declared as he put her back down. "I was wondering how long it would take you to notice."  
  
"Geoff, please," she begged him desperately. She was more disappointed than ever, he just didn't understand. "This is not good. I tried to fight this. I did not want to fall in love with Will."  
  
Geoff's grin lessened somewhat, but he was still smiling. "But you couldn't avoid it, could you? Why in heavens name would you want to fight it?"  
  
"Because who would want to fall in love with someone who already loved another?" she demanded.  
  
Chaucer was silent for a moment as the realization sunk in. "Jocelyn."  
  
"Yes, Jocelyn. The beautiful lady that Will is madly in love with and plans to marry."  
  
But Geoff wasn't about to give up on his two friends yet. "That woman is a witch. She doesn't deserve him; he should be with you. You know that. I know that. Hell, everybody knows that!"  
  
"Yes, well, Will obviously doesn't think so. He's still in love with her, and no one can change that. We've tried before to make him realize, but you know how he is. To him, Jocelyn can do no wrong. She's perfect."  
  
"Well, Kate, now he's got to listen." He turned to go run and join the others, but Kate held him back.  
  
"No, Geoff, please don't say anything. You promised you wouldn't tell." Kate was pleading with him.  
  
Geoff turned back to face her. "Kate, this is important. This is something that simply cannot be left alone."  
  
"But it must. And it will. Do you honestly think anything has changed, that he'll believe you now? And even if by some miracle he does, so what? I don't think Will feels anything for me but friendship. It would be a complete humiliation."  
  
"You're wrong," Geoff took her by the shoulders and gently shook her. "I've seen him look at you sometimes. Sometimes when you don't even notice. I've seen a look in his eye, and seen his gaze linger on you longer than is normal. You may deny it, but I am certain he has feelings of love for you, deep down inside himself. Though they may be so deep even he doesn't realize them yet."  
  
Kate wanted to believe him so badly, but it all seemed so unreal. She shook her head and asked, "How do you know? How could you know what he's feeling, if he himself doesn't even know?"  
  
"I'm a writer, an artist," he stated simply. "For some reason I was blessed with this talent to understand people, their minds and their hearts, and all of their intricacies. And I am also a man, who has been in love myself once or twice," he added with a wink to her. "When I look at Will, I see a man who is sharing his heart with another, and though he thinks it's Jocelyn, I am most certain that is not real love. I think he'll realize it himself, one day, and I just hope it won't be too late. I hope you won't be gone."  
  
"Your words are comforting Geoff, you certainly do have a way with them." He bowed dramatically at her compliment. "But Will had better realize quickly, if he ever is going to. I am leaving when we reach Dieppe, and my mind is made up. No matter how much you say you understand someone, you can't control him. You cannot make him see what he doesn't want to. If Will does love me, as you say, then that is something he should realize on his own, without any help."  
  
"I just don't want to see it never realized. I want to see the two of you happy and together."  
  
"Well, we'll see. I believe in fate, Geoff, and if something is supposed to happen I'm sure it will." Kate just wanted to drop the subject. She was certain Will would never love her the way she wanted him to, and it only hurt her to imagine things that could never be.  
  
"Oy! You two!" They both looked up to see Wat ahead yelling back at them. "We do want to reach the tournament sometime this year. Helloooo?"  
  
"We're coming, Wat!" Chaucer yelled back to him. Then he linked arms with Kate and they continued walking.  
  
"So that's it then? You've made up your mind, have you? You'll leave us just because you cannot have Will?"  
  
"I know it sounds foolish, Geoff, but I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't sit and watch as he loves another."  
  
"And yet you refuse to do something about it?" All Kate could respond was with a look, a pained look that showed her defeat. "I know I'm being hard on you, love. But really, you're not just leaving him, you're leaving all of us, and I'm going to miss you a great deal." He paused for a moment, deep in thought. "But as much as it hurts me, I do understand why you must go. Really, I do. For in love, there can be no exceptions."  
  
Kate leaned over and hugged him. "Thank you, Geoff. I'm glad you finally get it; it will make it so much easier when I have to leave. Maybe you could help the others after I'm gone?"  
  
"Mm-hmm." Geoff murmured as they continued after the others. Secretly he was trying to think of some way to make her stay, or bring his two friends together. He knew Fate was a busy lady and sometimes she needed a little help.  
  
(Well, I hope that was good enough for now. Just to warn you all, the next chapter is going to be the hardest one I've written yet, so it might take a while. I really don't know how I'm gonna do it, though I know exactly what's going to happen in it. It was one of the first ideas I had about this story, but I knew I couldn't start with it, so I had to do all these chapters beforehand. So I guess now is when my story will actually start (if I can ever figure out how to do it). Sorry, but I want you guys to actually like it, so I want to make it believable and entertaining and in- character. you know, actually good. Cuz, I probably wouldn't have kept going with it if it weren't for your reviews, really, you guys are the greatest. But now it makes it harder, because I want you all to like it. Really, I'm writing for you now, not so much for me, which is a little frightening. So be nice, I don't take rejection too well, anyways, cheers!) 


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